lady_louie (lady_louie) wrote in shifted_lands,

It's a full moon so take that into account...........

There are three reasons for writing here today and the first reason is my desire to get this forum going where people who are involved in SL can discuss everything from their gaming ideas and opinions to their personal lives without worrying about the family game/official message board rules.

There is a bunch of topics on which I would like to start a discussion--girl gamers vs. gamer chicks, ideas about the new camp, helpful sewing/costuming/larping ideas and many others that I can’t think of at the moment.

The second reason is that I do not have another live journal account (this one is free) and I am thinking I want to keep one of these “public diaries” just for fun.

The third reason is that I feel very strongly the need to comment on something that was brought to my attention in someone else’s journal that is VERY close to my heart.

But the third reason requires my explanation of my feelings on the first two.

So here goes.

My introduction to the live journal thing was through my daughters (all three of them) who “shared” (either by reading them to me or sending me links) information that they felt was humorous or interesting or necessary to my existence. I do not know if they realized at the time that I know just enough about computers to save the links. That means I can read their journals, their friends journals, their friends’ friends’ journals etc. Mostly the things I read were silly, and harmless or a lot of teenage angst. Mostly, I didn’t read them unless they were pointed out to me for some reason or another. (I don’t really feel the need to “spy” on my children-they are usually good people and smart enough to stay alive which is the most important thing to their mother, of course) At one point, one daughter who was hooked up to my best friend’s daughter’s journal saw something that she felt I might need to tell my friend. I thought long and hard and decided to stay out. Eventually, all turned out well and I was glad to have let my friend handle it in her own way without my interference. Another time, one young woman sounded so seriously suicidal that my daughter and I decided better to tell the parent and be wrong then hold back and be sorry. Again, it all worked out for the best. And, of course, I am well aware of situations where simple comments or information gives rise to big nasty discussions and anonymous cruel remarks, and writers' and readers' feelings and relationships are hurt forever.

And the reason I have seen some of the current stuff is that someone, whose intentions I believe were sincere, sent me a link to someone’s journal that had a comment they thought I should see.

So why write a journal? And why read others’????

On one hand, writing in a public place like this elicits some of the most wonderful honest and kind remarks and wishes from good people, some useful information and much entertaining silliness. On the other hand, it also invites hurtful comments from unhappy nasty people, busybodies who mean well but don’t really understand the situation or just plain old troublemakers. (Jessalin and I are still laughing at the person who felt the need to tattletale about a party here-It’s so silly that we are sure it must have been meant as a joke!)

Knowing that other people will read my words, I doubt very much that I will write my truly inner feelings. Those are saved for my real “friends” not my good acquaintances or my gaming buddies. (The difference between those is a good discussion for later!) I might start a discussion for fun. I might vent a little anger about my bad car karma. I might dispense some information (or even some of my elder human wisdom! teehee) I might tell silly stories of life down on the garb farm. BUT I really don’t think this is the place for true full disclosure for ME. Other people might want to do that if they find it helps them sort out their problems and feelings. I really have no opinion on other people’s reasons-they are all valid for themselves. We all do what we need to do. The trick is not to run rampant over what other’s feel they need to do OR let others run rampant over our own hearts.

As for reading other peoples’ live journals, I admit to plain old nosiness, a need to fit in (even at my age! hahahaha) and my overwhelming desire to KNOW EVERYTHING that’s going on around me. Oh, and maybe finding a little help and a little hope, and a little insight into my little world.

Okay, with all that said and with the best of intentions, PLEASE leave “our” children out of this!!!! Some of us have another life besides gaming which is first most important to us.

YOU ALL KNOW what I’m talking about.

I don’t care how much someone dislikes someone, but threatening or hoping for CPS to take a child away from them is one of the meanest things I can think of. NO ONE deserves that just for your distaste at their lifestyle. PLEASE think about what this would do to the child. Even being investigated by CPS is harmful to a child’s well-being. IN MY OPINION, someone better have pretty good suspicion of abuse or neglect before they even mention calling the CPS.

So just because you don’t agree with someone’s version of a relationship, this doesn’t give you cause to judge their parental skills lacking or a reason for calling CPS. If you don’t want to run your relationship that way, FINE-it doesn’t make everyone else wrong. If you don’t want to raise your children that way, FINE,-but think about how you would feel about interference and comments from others when it’s your turn for a family. And if you feel the need to judge others in private or you MUST put it on the public diary network-be prepared to be slammed for being uninformed and off-base, at least and being cruel and vindictive at worst.

No one knows what is between two people (unless they share, of course, and NO, that was not meant as a pun). And no matter what the politicians want to believe, no matter what the government thinks they can legislate, people make their own private “deals” when they come together in a relationship. Just because it wouldn’t be your choice, it doesn’t make it detrimental to raising happy healthy children.

One of the reasons this pisses me off SO much is that I have endured many comments from people (even some who pretend to be my buddy to my face) about how my children are faring with a mother who has a boyfriend who is younger (get over it, people!) or a mother who is involved in 8 of the top 10 strangest hobbies. I EXPECT this from MY parents, but some of the meanest comments have come from SL people. MY children are fine and smart and happy and healthy (okay, so they are geeks but there’s that acorn thing). They work their butts off in the kitchen for fun to support the game. If people don’t like me-I am really old enough (finally) to NOT care. BUT my children are old enough to hear some of this. AND I’m not just talking about the ones who can be there on their own.

IF, I ever decide that something that someone says will really hurt my children-I WILL be gone from the game in an instant. AND I know the child being discussed isn’t reading live journal yet, (no matter how smart his parents think he is! *wink*) but there is nothing to be gained except pure hatefulness, (towards oneself as well) by bringing a child into an argument.

So PLEASE leave the children out of all of this. No game, or feelings about a game, or feelings about someone who plays a game, comes NEAR to our children’s importance to us.

BUT go ahead, and pick on Brian if you want-he’s a big guy-he can take you….I mean it!!! (Sorry BG, I couldn’t resist!)

September is my turn in the kitchen-see some of you in Sentinel.

Love, Linda
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